Wednesday, 19 September 2012

AP v DP... WTH?

So today, right, for the first time ever, in a moment of not thinking clearly about the ramifications, I posted a link on my Facebook that made me feel better about the way I parent, and holy crunchy mama, people lost their ever loving minds.

Let's be blunt here. The crunchy mamas are very vocal. And those of us who aren't so earthy tend to, well, not be, because we are afraid of being pummelled to death with steel cut oats. To be brutally honest, I find a lot (but certainly not all) of what is written by them to be sanctimonious and harsh. Their way is the right way, and to hell with anyone else who has come to different conclusions to them, because they obviously don't love their kids as much as they do.

Of course, that's not wholly true, and I'm sure 8 times out of 10 they don't mean it to come across that way. But the perception of it, when put up against the way that I parent (I immunise, feed on demand so long as it wasn't half an hour ago, I birth in a hospital, I let babies cry it out, I don't care if the kid drinks formula so long as it eats and grows, and the only time we co-sleep is when we wake up in the morning and discover someone snuck in during the night) it certainly comes across as looking down one's nose.

What happened today on my Facebook was that in complete reverse. And yes, to the crunchy set, it was sanctimonious and harsh. But it was the writer's opinion, and while it made sweeping generalities, it was so interesting to see the attachment parents completely forget they do the same thing. Suddenly, it was not ok to find fault or disagree with the way someone else does things, or imply (heavily or otherwise) that the "detachment parent" obviously doesn't like their kid. I've seen fb statuses from both camps bemoaning how tired they are because the baby won't sleep, or nearly tearing their hair out because the two year old HAD. to. be. held. ALL. DAY. LONG, and it's a freaking long running parental joke about the many ways a child can sleep in the big bed that puts the parents in horizontal yoga poses. It doesn't matter if they are AP or DP or whatever... you empathise, because parenting is freaking hard, and at some point, all parent's will wonder what the hell they've gotten themselves into. Everyone wants to do a good job at it, and just because this time the writer is a parent who doesn't AP, it doesn't make their opinions any less valid. A person's opinion, is just that: their opinion. You don't have to agree with it.

When my friends who practise attachment parenting post links, I tend to either not read them depending on which paragraph they chose to c&p, or, if I do, I usually decline to comment because hey, let's be real; my opinions, regardless of how well I researched, are not going to sway your opinions which I'm absolutely sure are just as researched. The way you parent is completely and totally 100% up to you. And the same goes for me, and to be frank, I really don't see the point in me telling you how I think you're doing it wrong. I am no perfect parent, what right do I have?

Listen; my AP friends have fantastic kids. My "DP" friends have fantastic kids. You know what? Why the hell do we even have to have labels on our parenting? Why can't it just be oh, I dunno... parenting?? And while we're at it, how 'bout we all agree that unless we see the kids obviously suffering from neglect or abuse, we keep our damn noses out of each others business, and quit trying to make the other "side" (seriously?!) see 'reason' and change their ways.

I now have the lyric "we're all in this together" stuck in my head. So true. It takes a village, and all that, y'know? All types. If we can just learn to suggest, when the situation arrises, rather than tell and browbeat, I think everything would be a lot more harmonious.


Saturday, 15 September 2012

I have no more babies left

So I was planning on transitioning Cora into her big girl bed when we moved into the new house, but it seems, despite my insistence she stays small always, she has completely ignored my desires and gone and become two and a half. With a mind all of her own, no less.

Of her own accord, Cora has taken to sleeping on the queen mattress with Bethany, and to all intents and purposes, it seems to be working. At least, I'm not putting her back into her cot umpteen dozen times a night. It's been about three days now, and she's napped there on her own as well. She's more content to be put down there, and that usually means she's more likely to go to sleep rather than muck around for a few hours.

*sigh* I am not totally devastated, but I do wish she had waited for when I had decided to move her. My poor heart feels a little rushed. I haven't taken the cot down; at least that I can control, and I will stick to my original plan. On the upside, the absolute cutest thing has come out of it... now, when she wakes up, she always comes into where I am and says "I awake now." To which I then have to say "you're awake now?" and she replies "yeh." And then we snuggle. So it's all good, really.

I just won't be rushing potty training anytime soon.

Wednesday, 12 September 2012

Write them on your doorposts

So, as some of you may know, Adam and I are currently building a house. It's getting very exciting, because the slab went down a couple of weeks ago:

We had to keep it wet for about a week while it cured. 
They piled sand up around it, and we just kept it filled with about 2 inches of water.

Of course, this made what we are living shrink exponentially. In case you aren't aware of our living situation, this is it...

Two 20 x 9 foot shipping containers (plus one for the toilet/shower/laundry) for our family of 8. The kids sleep in the grey one there on the left, and the white one is our lounge/kitchen/master bedroom.

I've been sleeping on the couch since December.

Up until now, while we had no idea how long anything was going to take, we just sort of put up and dealt with the cramped conditions. Once the slab went down, we all collectively lost our minds and had a gut full. For the sake of everyone's sanity, especially Troy's, we set up our 6 man, three room tent for the two older boys so they could have their own 'rooms' for the next two months. The kids haven't been to sleep before ten for the last two weeks or so, and we are all so very tired.

The verandah poles went up the other day, and then joy!! Delivery day was yesterday, and all our tiles, insulation and prefabbed wall frames were dropped off.

Which brings me to the point of my post.

Adam and I are going to write scriptures on the wall frames and the floor before the cladding and tiles go on. I've managed to read through Malachi to Psalms (I went backwards... what of it?) and Revelation through Hebrews. I've go a list a mile long already of wonderful promises and blessings and vows to write throughout our home. I'll be hustling through the rest of the bible over the next few days to glean some more, and then I might do some more detailed searches for words such as dwell, home, abide, peace, house, home, harmony, family, and love.

I was wondering; what verses would you use if you were doing the same thing, and where would you write them? For example, I've got some that will go behind our mirrors in the bathrooms (pslam 34:5), the entry way (Psalm 147:13-14), the kitchen (Ecclesiastes 9:7), the master bedroom (Song of Songs 7:10... amongst others), the laundry (Revelation 22:14), the kids rooms (1 Peter 5:5), the tops of our front doors (Psalm 24:7) and so on and so forth. I'm really interested to hear how you would incorporate scripture into your home this way. Also, what translation would you use? I'm using the ESV, but I'm thinking I might do some searches using the Message.

Tomorrow the verandah is being poured, and then the walls should go up within a day or two after that. We hope to be in a completed house in two months ish, fingers crossed!

Friday, 7 September 2012



Along with a brand spankin' new computer, (it's so shiny!) I thought I'd unveil and new place for me to write myself down. It's been over a year since I've had my own computer, and oh how I have missed it.

I'm incredibly out of practice. AND, they changed the rules on double spaces after full stops. 

Mind. Blown.

So please excuse me as I stretch and nudge and wriggle to find and fill comfortably this little space of mine. It's been a while since I've stayed in any place for a while... I'm hoping this is home.

For those of you who are patiently following me over from my last blog, thank you for skipping along this path with me. I hope we are swinging hands and picking flowers.